A Remarkable Testimonial
From time to time, I receive a testimonial that describes a profound transformation in a way that resonates with the human spirit; one that stands out for its honesty, intensity, and raw expression.
The one below comes from a woman who participated in a group session I facilitated. She and her husband were the only ones there who were experiencing the medicine for the first time. About a week after the session, she sent me this message. I’ve kept all the original typos intact — as you'll soon see, English isn’t her first language—but the depth of her experience comes through clearly.
To make our experience more understandable I will make some “short” context to you: Me and my husband, We both are sensitive and traumatized persons and our dream was to find a home, have family, work as therapists and take a good care of it all. We met as poor students without support and we had to struggle with a lot of outside and inside conditions. We left city and built home in a small village by woods. Soon we had kids our son (18), very challenging sensitive and neurodivergent guy, our daughter (16) beautiful princess closed and crazy, tender and strong….After some years corona came and we had 2 years of lockdown.
Then it was over, kids could be in their schools again and we hoped there will be more time for us two. We didnt know yet how much it has traumatized them not to be with the others and their loved activitues. Everything was closed, life had stopped. But they were in fragile age and all the frustruation turned into agresivity shared though social media. Our older daughter went out for her first disco, she was 13. Left without friends and some girl has put her something into a drink and another boy raped her. She didnt tell but I saw something is wrong. She was destroying herself, aggressive to us, running from home etc. I couldnt make her to accept the help. I was desperate. The evil come to our house. She got mad from it as she was also cyberbullied for being a whore by other desperate unloved kids. It took me almost 3 months to find out what happened but it wasńt the end of it. She was insein more than I expected. She was on her way down, hated herself. All her grest power worked against her and against our love and everything that was pure, because she wasnt anymore. More than two years of fight …and this all was so difficult and my own trauma from my 13 age came out and also my husband (he was raped age 12). We couldn’t make it. It teared us apart. His reaction was to close all his feelings and be there stable. I was fighting but was more emotional. We both were doing our best what we could. Slowly it got better. After we all went for a long roadtrip to Andalusia and saw that life goes on in many different ways. No social media, just we together in One care for 3 weeks. It was turning point for her.
But my husband and I still had to heal ourselves. Our disconnection from each other and I would say the disconnection of him from himself too. I was calling him back but he couldnt hear. We tried two couple therapist. The one we have now seems to help but the real help came from meeting you and the others and the medicine and our love we still belived was there. That’s why I’m sharing all the stroy with you. I do believe it works together.
The Saturday’s experience of the freeway to each other (!) was amazing. All the tenderness, feelings, hurts, … it was all there and we could share it without fear and barriers. We were like the first days we met. So opened to each other in love and absolute trust….
We had gotten lost and needed help and we got it…. This time we are older, wiser and able to be naked to the bone without shaming. We couldn’t make love the first and second night after the roll because we had to cry and hold each other in a different way. My husband had to cry out all the pain since he was 12. And for the first time he could speak out some memories, some feelings about sex which didn’t help our loving. Sex with me was always tempting for him but still touched with some unclean feeling. And it got even worst after our daughter was raped and became very sexual in a bad way. For me it was different. …. I was waiting for my man to wake up one day but I got more and more frustruated and was loosing patience. … But it happened indeed. On Monday evening we took the drops — [ a Cannabis edible that Shelley had given her at the end of the weekend].—- We had the best sex ever. Long lasting, no shame with many peaks of love. Thank you, Shelley. Thank to you and Charley.
…Together we can make the best things for our family and for the others too. We built community. Now it will be much easier. Take care and many many thanks!!”
